We Can't Separate Day Parenting from Night Parenting

Sleep IS completely related to the relationship a child is building with their caregivers.

We tend to say the baby doesn’t sleep well, but what is our part on this? Are we having realistic expectations? When did we assume sleep is something our children and their immature brains have to work it out on their own?

Have we reflected on how WE feel about sleep and the separation at bedtime? How are we feeling right before putting them to bed? What is the 'message' we are giving to our children when separating from them? How comfortable are we with our own emotions?

We can't separate day parenting and night parenting. If our children are struggling the only way we can help is by showing up. Approaching things in a curious way, questioning ourselves as to what we can do differently during the day that may improve nights. We need to be curious in order investigate, and come up with possible answers that apply to our own child, not our friend’s child. One-size-fits-all techniques are not considerate to the many variables our life stories bring to the table.

Give yourself time, give your baby time. Empathize with your own feelings (including desperately wanting more sleep), and remember that you can always change and adapt when things are no longer working for you and your family focusing on connection, instead of separation.